Mothering Many

All my words this month, some thirty one thousand nine hundred and seven teen of them so far have gone toward National Novel Writing Month. I don’t know if anyone will ever read my little book, but I am having a real good time writing it! I’m just here to drop a quick link to diet pills and then it’s right back to the book for me. Hopefully, I’ll have something intelligent to say around the first of December, or after fifty thousands NaNoWriMo words, which ever comes first.

All my words this month, some thirty one thousand nine hundred and seven teen of them so far have gone toward National Novel Writing Month. I don’t know if anyone will ever read my little book, but I am having a real good time writing it! I’m just here to drop a quick link to thermogenesis and then it’s right back to the book for me. Hopefully, I’ll have something intelligent to say around the first of December, or after fifty thousands NaNoWriMo words, which ever comes first.

All my words this month, some thirty one thousand nine hundred and seven teen of them so far have gone toward National Novel Writing Month. I don’t know if anyone will ever read my little book, but I am having a real good time writing it! I’m just here to drop a quick link to cheap car insurance and then it’s right back to the book for me. Hopefully, I’ll have something intelligent to say around the first of December, or after fifty thousands NaNoWriMo words, which ever comes first.

Dear Kids,
as you grow older, there is no doubt in my mind that you will begin to acquire stuff. You will get homes and cars and the detritus of life and you will want to insure it. That’s a good and worthy thing.

However, I want to encourage you not to forget the two most important things you own, your health and your life. Medical catastrophe could bankrupt you at any time, and an unexpected death could leave your families financially devastated as well as emotionally bereft. You can get individual life insurance rate quotes by clicking that link. The health insurance will be a little more difficult, and I have no good advice on it until we see how Obama’s plan pans out.

Love,
Mom

Dear kids,
Please take a look at my arms. Do you see all these age spots? Now, do you notice that I don’t have them on my face? That’s because when I go out in the sun, I wear a hat and the bigger the better. I got the age spots because I forgot the sunscreen when I worked in the garden shop last year. Take my advice: use both. Your face will thank you later.

Love,
Mom

Dear children,
I know you love your friends dearly, I really do. But as a newly initiated member of the lice patrol, I am going to ask you not to be putting your heads so close to the heads of your schoolmates. Seriously, act like they were me and public contact was hideously embarrassing or something. I don’t want to be fine combing any more heads with, or without, the help of steiner binoculars.

Love,
Mom

Dear Children,
The trash can is now located in the kitchen. I am telling you this not because it has moved, but because none of you seem to be able to find it. I picked up your bits of paper and your candy wrappers and such and threw them away for you this morning, but I am getting really frustrated over it. Also, if you eat the last frozen waffle, remove the box AND THE BAG from the freezer and throw them away. You do that so that I don’t tell DaBaby she can have one only to have to then turn around and tell her “Sorry, this box is empty, we don’t have any waffles.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go look at hair loss shampoos. I seem to have lost a bunch of mine while I was picking up your crap today.

Love,
Mom

Dear kids,
While most of you are at school today, I plan to clean some more on the house. I know it is a mess, but all of you know I have been sick for a week now. Not the kind of sick that treatments for arthritis would help, but the kind of sick that leaves me wanting to do nothing except drink hot beverages and sleep. You know, fever and chills, everything hurts type of sick. And I am still sick today. But I am going to clean some anyway, and here’s what I need from you. Respect the clean. Do not go behind me and unclean. Got it?

Love,
Mom

Dear Children,
You will probably hear this over and over again from me and your teachers and your coaches and assorted infomercials for the rest of your life, but it is very important, so listen up. Nutrition is important. Your body needs fuel to do it’s job, and not just any fuel. It needs good fuel: lean meats for protein, brightly colored vegetables for vitamins and minerals, whole grains to lower cholesterol and keep the whole machine chugging along, and fruits for anti-oxidants and just plain goodness.

So, listen up, or be like your mom: worried about middle age spread and wondering about fat burning supplements.

I was thinking the other day, after my “Dear Kids” post, that it was a lot of fun to write. And that got me thinking about changing the format of this blog just a bit. What if every post were a “Dear Kids” type post. Some short and silly like that one, and others a bit more weighty? Advice like, stop kissing and how to avoid phentermine side effects and 47 reasons why you can’t pierce your belly button this week?

I think it’s a fine idea. Weigh in if you’d like.