Summer

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Kids,
Summer time, and the living is easy. It’s also fresh, which is great for you guys, because it is also a proven fact that mom is feeling fat. This last could be construed as bad news except that I know how much you love fresh veggies. Oh wait, that’s me. You guys like fresh FRUIT. And berries. Yumm, me too. And because we love berries, I am going to suggest you goto Shari’s Berries website and let me know if you find anything interesting. I did!
Love,
Mom

And while you are at it

Uncategorized No Comments

And while you are creating that bookshelf, I’d also like you to use your non-existent allowance and order these hot tub gazebo plans, also to be built with non-existent materials. You can skip the hot-tub, though, and just install a hammock. I’m just needing a place to read all those books I am putting on my new bookshelf, see? And I don’t like to get my books wet.

Love,
Mom

Same son

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Son,
I need some help. I want a bookshelf. Just a small one, like for five or ten thousand pages. You know, just the stuff I want to read this next year. Do you think you could handle that for me? Now, I know I could put the tv on one of those tv mounts and free up a shelf or two, but I also know how you like a challenge and enjoy making things with your own hands. And yes, I know a bookshelf isn’t a major challenge, but I have no materials and no money. I basically want you to create it out of thin air. Whaddya say?

Dear Son

Uncategorized No Comments

I just wanted to let you know that I have been watching you and your girl. You guys are awesome together. I have no idea where you learned to do what you do, but you make an pretty good boyfriend. Keep up the good work! That said, please remember that you are only 14. You don’t need to be looking for diamond.com coupons for another few years, mmmk?

Love,
Mom

Sit well

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Kids,
Please quit catapulting yourself onto the sofa. See those cushions? Se the one with the rip in it? From your bouncing butt? I do not like it. Treat the furniture with some degree of care, because you know what? Those foam mattress deals DO NOT INCLUDE replacement sofa cushions. Especially in worn and stained tannish brown. And no, I am not buying a whole new sofa!

Love,
Mom

Your rooms

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear children.
It might be time to clean your rooms. We are down to three cups and one bowl, even with the dishes done. We have misplaced one retainer and two pairs of prescription glasses. Of course, I have my personal cups, bowls, and glasses because I keep them in my clean room, along with the snacks I hide from you!

Love,
Mom

Make music

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear kids,
I am concerned about the amount of Power Rangers and Avatar you have been watching. I bought that Wii so you could play games, not watch netflix all day.

So, what say you start making a little music with it? We could pretend that Guitar hero comes with a Keeley Guitars, add a little disco light in the living room, and do something besides fill your little heads with rot. Whaddya think?

Love,
Mom

Camp!

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Kids,
This ought to solve a few problems: heated clothing. We could camp practically year round, right? And you wouldn’t be cold and miserable and wanting to go home, right? And what about at the bus stop, hmmmmm? Great idea, right? Oooh, I could even save money on the electric bill in winter! Awesome all around! Pick your fashion statement!
Love,
Mom

About Food

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Children,
Mom seems to have gotten a little sloppy in her eating habits. And she confesses to also feeding you quite a bit of junk. The bad news is that it’s showing on me. The good news is that it’s summer, which means more fresh food. The bad news is that we need to eat a lot less crap, so I don’t have to worry about adipotril side effects. The good news is that you love fruit and you’ll mange to like veggies as well.

Love,
Mom

The Dishes

Uncategorized No Comments

Dear Kids,
I am sorry you wore the motor out on the dishwasher by not scraping the plates as I explained to you that you should. Many times. In various tones of voice. Nonetheless, the dishes must be done. Yes, by you, because I have way more homework than you do, and I can’t do everything myself. So get in there and do them, before we need flame throwers and welding equipment to remove the dried food from the plates.

Love,
Mom

« Previous Entries Next Entries »