Mothering Many

Make music

cass — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 14:10:47 +0000

Dear kids,
I am concerned about the amount of Power Rangers and Avatar you have been watching. I bought that Wii so you could play games, not watch netflix all day.

So, what say you start making a little music with it? We could pretend that Guitar hero comes with a Keeley Guitars, add a little disco light in the living room, and do something besides fill your little heads with rot. Whaddya think?

Love,
Mom

Camp!

cass — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 14:01:50 +0000

Dear Kids,
This ought to solve a few problems: heated clothing. We could camp practically year round, right? And you wouldn’t be cold and miserable and wanting to go home, right? And what about at the bus stop, hmmmmm? Great idea, right? Oooh, I could even save money on the electric bill in winter! Awesome all around! Pick your fashion statement!
Love,
Mom

About Food

cass — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 13:56:40 +0000

Dear Children,
Mom seems to have gotten a little sloppy in her eating habits. And she confesses to also feeding you quite a bit of junk. The bad news is that it’s showing on me. The good news is that it’s summer, which means more fresh food. The bad news is that we need to eat a lot less crap, so I don’t have to worry about adipotril side effects. The good news is that you love fruit and you’ll mange to like veggies as well.

Love,
Mom

The Dishes

cass — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 01:03:13 +0000

Dear Kids,
I am sorry you wore the motor out on the dishwasher by not scraping the plates as I explained to you that you should. Many times. In various tones of voice. Nonetheless, the dishes must be done. Yes, by you, because I have way more homework than you do, and I can’t do everything myself. So get in there and do them, before we need flame throwers and welding equipment to remove the dried food from the plates.

Love,
Mom

About that room

cass — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 23:26:50 +0000

Dear Boys,
Maybe, just maybe, if you clean your room, you will find things. I mean in addition to stand up underwear and crusty sock balls. You might find money. Money you could use to buy gold online from Golden Eagle. Because in this economy, your paper money is going to be worth less and less, and we are reaching the point where the metal in your coins is going to be worth more than the spending value. Just sayin’

So get on in there and get started, would ya?
Love,
Mom

It’s Clean

cass — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 23:15:36 +0000

Dear Kids,
As you may have noticed, the house is clean. Except, boys, for your room. I think it’s time for you to get started on that. It’s not that hard, once you shovel out, to bring your laundry out once a day and take care of your trash. Not rocket science, or even electrosurgery. Just simple, simple stuff. You can do this. I suggest you start now.
Love,
Mom

Also, the plate scraping

cass — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:39:05 +0000

Dear Kids,
When called upon to do the dishes, please scrape the plates *before* you put them in the dishwasher. Chicken bones do not belong in there. And use the trashcan, not the sink. You know we do not have a garbage disposal, and there is also no swimming pool pump on our sewer lines. Do you really think we need to put that yuck into what will eventually come back into our house as drinking water? No? Me either.

Love,
Mom

The Legos

cass — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 20:36:05 +0000

Dear Kids,
I am so glad that you enjoy building, and I admire how creative you all are. But if you don’t mind, please pick up all those legos and the pieces from your plastic model kits, as well as the random thumbtacks, nails, screws, and assorted other small pointies. The vacuum cleaner hose and my bare feet will thank you.
Love,
Mom

About those bikes and parts

cass — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 02:05:45 +0000

Dear Kids,
I know that you enjoy riding your bikes. I know that you enjoy tinkering with them and souping them up. But do you realize that all those bike parts laying around make our yard look horrible? And that the actual bikes, if you persist in leaving them laying in the yard and driveway will probably get run over or stolen? No? Well, I know we don’t have fancy storage like these thule bike racks at cracksandracks.com, but we do have a lockable shed. I suggest you start using it.

Love,
Mom

Dear Kids

cass — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:54:23 +0000

Hi Guys!
Just a reminder: I know you are in school again now, and probably bored with it after 3 days. But my semester starts next week, and usual, I will have mountains of homework to complete. I will miss out laid back evenings and such, and I know you will, too, but let’s keep our eyes on the prize: in a couple more years, Mommy will be able to apply for Psychiatric Aide Jobs instead of “retail clerk jobs”, and hopefully be making more than minimum wage. That means you can be expecting more than minimum food, clothing and shelter, and won’t that be grand? So thanks in advance for your cooperation! You guys are the best.

Love,
Mom