Mothering Many

“Baby, you know that things like this just can’t be real! It must be some prank like the ones they played on that old hermit!” Bailey gasped, “That must be it! It’s the hermit, Michel, there’s no other explanation!” Michel thought a moment. “That would make sense….if it wasn’t a prank.” Bailey shook her head and took a sipp of her coffee. “I think we should go back.” The waiter had been standing near them for a few moments polishing a mug. “I wouldn’t do that, Miss”, he said, “that old hermit was mad, he deserved what he got. I bet his ghost is even worse off than he was!”

Bailey and Michel shared a look , and when their eyes met they both thought “probably”.

But that night, the waiter, Jaden couldn’t help but go to the beach, him and a few of his friends decided to see if they could catch the ghost. They got there that night and at 12:43 the ghost appeared, and they followed him, just like they had that night just 10 short years ago, when they had chased him down the beach, caught up with him, and killed him.

But this time, they were the ones chased, they were the ones caught, and they were the ones that died.

The End

So there ya have it, much like she wrote it. I did correct a few comma placement issues and some homonym abuse, since that is my pet peeve. Clearly the girl has more going on in her head than xbox 360 games. I think with a little work on *ahem* paragraph breaks, and some more practice, she could be a fine writer. And I have another story to share to prove my point.