Mothering Many

So, our internetless life goes on. You know, I really thought that ithout internet I’d have so much free time on my hands that I would go beserkers and finally clean my house. Nope! I’ve been much too busy to clean the house.

Without the internet, I am: reading books, great big thick ones.

Without the internet, I am: reading magazines, little thin ones about politics. Yes, politics.

Without the internet, I am: knitting stuff, warm wooly stuff. And that is a darn good thing, because last night, as I was sitting on the couch reading my thin political magazine, I was huddled under a blanket, wishing for something warm like Berghaus Clothing. Yes, after four years of summer, winter has finally arrived here in the deep south. Baby, it’s cold outside.

Without the internet, I am: no longer spending my days freezing at my desk which sits by the front windows.

Without the internet, I am: spending a lot more time with kiddos on my lap. They are very warm and snuggly.

Without the internet, I am: going places, like the movies. And getting paid to do it, which is a real nice bonus.

Without the internet, I am: having more fun than I thought I would.

Without the internet, I am: wearing my phone’s qwerty keyboard out texting my bff, Ang. Hey, I’m keeping it real!

Without the internet, I am: remembering how much I dislike Internet Explorer, which is the library’s browser of choice.

And finally, without the internet, I am: having a real hard time keeping up any sort of regular posting schedule. Hopefully that will get better when I have my (repaired) laptop back. I never intended to use Windows Live Writer when I set it up, but now… I’m hoping it’s a useful as all those reviews say it can be.

Man, are we ever having some interesting times at my house. You know that’s an ancient Chinese curse, don’t you? “May you live in interesting times.” My ex-husband taught me that. *cough*

Anyway! Pardon my absence (see bit about interesting times), but I have no internet at home. Which has led to spending more time at the public library, using their computers/internet. Now, if your children are like mine and consistently BEG to go to the library, you can imagine how happy my children are. See, they have to go too, at least once per week each, because some of their school assignments are online.

Which brings me in a round about way to the true point of this post, which has amazingly little to do with the actual library. Times are tight. They really are, and they are tight all over. I know that my family is not the only family that’s cutting back, willingly or unwillingly, so I want to take this time and space to remind you that the very best lesson you can ever teach your children is this: make do.

Just make do. Whatever you are handed, make it be enough. And as the mom, try to do it cheerfully, because it is your attitude that will determine, to a large extent, the attitude of your children. That last bit was for my own edification. Just sayin’

Why, yes, yes I can. I can come outside in my pajamas and drink coffee and watch you play.

And you know what, it was fun. They did flips on the trampoline, and they played golf using blocks for tees and a plastic baseball bat for a club.

I had to get back to the grind way too soon. And if I don;t finish all my chores today, well…… I still did something important.

In other parenting news, I went to Wal-Mart and bought plastic pants for DaBaby today. The waterproofing is gone from our covers, I am not having any luck with the PolarProof and and refuse to spend more money in spendy covers when she’ll be training soon. Any minute now. Really. Truly. Wrestling her up on the bed for a diaper change is almost like dealing with a my size barbie or something. She’s like Godzilla baby or something.

My kids and I are enthralled watching National Geographic: Inside the White House. It just seemed like perfect timing, you know? What are you doing/talking about with your children today?

But today’s maternity post has more to do with me than the babies. A lot more. Specifically about choices I made that I wish I had made differently. No, not having less kids, not that at all. What I wish I had done differently was allowing “all these children” to be an excuse for not pursuing those activities that were fun and fulfilling for me, for thinking that stylish maternity wear could make up for not continuing to grow myself into what I wanted to be. I simply failed to do the math. Let me explain.

Most ladies, when they have babies, they do what I did: they put their goals and dreams and desires on the back burner, in order to invest in their children. And this is how it should be. We truly ought to do that! However, we need to balance that with our own selves. Putting stuff on the back burner doesn’t mean forgetting it forever. Realistically, most women put themselves aside for about 15 years. That’s how long it takes to give birth to 2 or 3 kids and raise them to the point that they can function without you for a few hours. According to my calculations, I’ve already put in 20 years, and if I continued to put myself aside until DaBaby was in her teens, that would add another 11 years. How much of me would be left after 31 years? Not much, right?

And that is totally not any fault of my children, nor do I blame them for it. But you see over there in the sidebar of my personal blog, it says I sort of lost myself, and I’m on the look out for me. That’s still true, even though I wrote it a couple of years ago now. If I had it to do over again, I would insist on time for me. It wouldn’t have to be much: a couple hours a week would be enough time to do something I enjoy. I would not spend weeks at a time at home with grocery shopping and church my only outings. And I’d insist that some things are mine and not touched by anyone else. That’s right! “Mommy” doesn’t mean I have to share everything.

So here’s today’s parenting tip: When you go shopping, along with the Ingrid and Isabel, pick up a book on your favorite hobby. And when you go back for the Japanese Weekend Maternity, go see a movie or have lunch with a girlfriend. Do something for YOU. If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. Not because they don’t value you, but because you are giving the message that you don’t need any care. And you can totally trust me on this issue.

You know, Christmas is upon us. Don’t sit there and blink at me. You know it is, especially if you do any type of Advent Celebration with your family, as I try to do. We’ve been doing Bible readings and songs and fun Christmas books for a few years now, with more or less success depending on the year, but this year, I think we may do a Jesse Tree. I’d read about them with great interest several times, but the instructions always seemed so complicated and extravagant and well, expensive. There, I’m not afraid to say it–expensive. As if we all know God is impressed by how much money we can afford to drop at the local Christian Book Store or something. Oops. Stopping that tangent right there.

Dragging self back to Jesse Tree.

So, I was doubly thrilled when I read this explanation of the Jesse Tree from SimpleMom.net. We may be flat broke, but I think we can afford paper, right? We’ll most likely do a paper tree with paper ornaments. I might even let the kids color them while I read the devotion. We’ll end up with a bazillion ornaments on our Jesse Tree, but somehow, I think that’s okay, too, and perhaps more fitting for this first experience. And one year, when I have more money, we’ll make or buy fancy pants ornaments. We may think it’s prettier then, but I bet our favorite will always be this first one.