Mothering Many

You know, it’s been a very long time since I complained about my floors. And it is well past time that I share my dirty little secrets with you all. Now you should know that I have champagne taste on a beer budget and that the reason that my floors are in this sad sack shape is that I am holding out for the good stuff. I want hardwood flooring and I want it bad. I want high quality stuff, and with this many people walking on it, there is no excuse for settling for less. Therefore, if you visit me, you will find my kitchen linoleum patched with duct tape. It got damaged when the under flooring swelled to ginormous proportions when the hot water heater let go. Slowly. For a very long time. Months, even.

In fact, I’d like to buy from an outfit like Empire Today. See, they schedule and appointment and bring samples right to your home. You can see how the flooring you choose will look with the furnishings you already have. And, they have next day installation. And also, their jingle is done barbershop style. (Have I ever mentioned that I was once a Sweet Adeline 5 children ago? Yeah, I was.) 800-588-2300 Empire never sounded so good! Just listen:

They must be doing something right, because they’ve come a long way from the small Chicago business they began with in 1959. And that Empire man, he sounds so smooth, doesn’t he? I bet he’s sold a lot of plush carpet and ceramic flooring, because he almost convinced me! Good thing I remembered I was holding out for hardwood! Empire is even on Wikipedia.

So tell me, this one?

Or this one?

Yeah, I know. They are both beautiful. Is it wrong to start looking forward to next year’s tax return in July?