Mothering Many

From my email:
How do you and your DH split up or decide on the parenting “rules” or guidelines?

I’ve been looking at this question for weeks, trying to decide how to answer it. Most parenting guides will tell you that parents need to stand together and have the same limits. Let me ask you something. Do all of your children wear a size 4? Do all of them look good in neon orange? Do they have the same favorite foods? Unless you have identical twins your answer to all three questions was probably no. And even if you do have identical twins, your last answer might be no. So let me ask you another question: Are you and your husbands twins?

In fact, I think children can and should learn to relate to their parents differently. After all, they like for you to recognize them for who they are and appreciate their differences, right?
I guess I am not talking about basic rules here like “we don’t jump on the furniture.” In these types of things, yes, parents need to enforce the same standards. But as far as actually relating to your children on a personal level, you are you, and no one else, nor should you be.

If this doesn’t answer your question (and you know who you are), then feel free to email me again, or leave a comment.