Mothering Many

I considered putting this on my “all about me” blog, but I decided to put it here because menopause really affects a whole family, doesn’t it? Most mothers will go through it eventually, and the alternative of not going through menopause is just not one I want to consider.

I found this article on hot flashes interesting. My Grandmother had surgical menopause, and never had a hot flash, But my mother has had them for over 20 years. I experienced them with my last pregnancy, and boy howdy, there really are no words. As in, I thought I knew what a hot flash was until I had my own, and then I realized I hadn’t known a thing about them at all.

There are many informative articles on the site, and ladies, fore-warned is fore-armed.

Technorati Tags: menopause, hot flash

Is it ok if I admit I am just not feeling it today? I have a nice allergy attack going, and I am short-tempered and waspish, and unfit company for even myself. I’m thinking of my children as so many chores to be accomplished, and I just want to crawl under a rock and be by myself. Oh, I didn’t wait for you to answer, did I? Oops, sorry about that.

Some days are just meant for dreaming of getting away, and this is one of them. WeNeedAVacation.com has certainly got my number today. I’m looking at their Martha’s Vineyard vacation rentals and thinking, “oh yeah, baby”. But I’m warning you: if I can’t go by myself, I’m not going at all.

I think I better go take a nap now, before I bite someone’s head off. Again. I’ll feel better if I do that, I think. Nap I mean, not create headless little people.

I

Sometimes, I like to get away. Now, getting away takes many forms, and actually leaving the house for an extended period of time is not something I do very often. Since I am needed at home, I take little mental vacations, and little pampering times instead.

I like to sit alone in the quiet (quit laughing, it happens sometimes) and read or think. I enjoy having a cuppa when I do that, be it coffee or tea. In fact, I’ll probably drink quite a bit of both as I work on the lesson plans this weekend. I’ll be doing most of that in the evenings when I can think my own thoughts, with a minimum of interruptions.

I’d really like to try some of the teas from Full Bloom Teas. That picture shows the one of the Mother’s Day Gift Sets. The glass teapot is mandatory, because you have to watch the tea bloom. See, when it’s shipped it looks like this:

When you add the hot water, those pods actually “bloom” as your tea steeps. Pretty neat, huh? Not only is it a delight for the tongue, but the nose and eye as well.

Deb asked a question on her blog this morning that I thought I’d answer, because my answer is different today than it was last Sunday. Yeah, you can teach an old dog new tricks, LOL! The difference is “breakfast“. I am not (was not?) a breakfast person. I usually did not eat until about 2pm. This past week, I’ve been eating breakfast, and the results have been great, not only for me, but for the whole family! See, when I eat breakfast, I get hungry for snack, and then for lunch. When I get hungry, I know it’s time to feed the children. This way, I am able to get the food ready before everyone gets so hungry that they get ill and snappish (including me). When I didn’t eat breakfast, I didn’t get hungry, and by the time we’d get lunch ready, attitudes had really deteriorated. I thought I was saving time by skipping breakfast, but taking that 15 minutes to eat really saves a lot of time dealing with behavioral issues.

So, what’s my ideal morning? I’m up by seven, have eaten and had a couple of cups of coffee and written a couple of blog posts by 8. We tidy the house while singing like the Von Trapps, and settle down for school by 9. We work quietly and steadily for a couple of hours, and we are done with school. We eat lunch. /end of perfect morning

What really happens? I’m up around 8:30, eat and have a couple cups of coffee while reading email. We tidy the house with much obstinate arguing and so it takes forever, and we are finally done close to 11:30. We eat lunch and then do school. Obviously, we’re still a work in progress around here.

Technorati Tags: breakfast, attitudes, arguing

From my email:
How do you and your DH split up or decide on the parenting “rules” or guidelines?

I’ve been looking at this question for weeks, trying to decide how to answer it. Most parenting guides will tell you that parents need to stand together and have the same limits. Let me ask you something. Do all of your children wear a size 4? Do all of them look good in neon orange? Do they have the same favorite foods? Unless you have identical twins your answer to all three questions was probably no. And even if you do have identical twins, your last answer might be no. So let me ask you another question: Are you and your husbands twins?

In fact, I think children can and should learn to relate to their parents differently. After all, they like for you to recognize them for who they are and appreciate their differences, right?
I guess I am not talking about basic rules here like “we don’t jump on the furniture.” In these types of things, yes, parents need to enforce the same standards. But as far as actually relating to your children on a personal level, you are you, and no one else, nor should you be.

If this doesn’t answer your question (and you know who you are), then feel free to email me again, or leave a comment.

I read this great article over the weekend, and I wanted to share it with you. It pertains to sleeping, or rather not sleeping, which I have discussed here before.
Moms’ 6 biggest sleep mistakes, and how to fix them

I’m guilty of about half of these mistakes.

Technorati Tags: sleep

From my email:
But how do you do that with a 2 year old?

They understand a lot more than you think. Also, time out works at this age. Just as we are out of fellowship with God when we disobey and it bothers us until we repent, being out of fellowship with us (via timeout) bothers young children. And if they won’t listen to reason, well I’ll leave that up to you.

The important thing is that the children look to you for direction. Spending time with them, laughing and loving, will make it important to them to be in communion with you. They will want to please you in order to get more of that positive contact.

What about you? Do you ever feel like your kids are running your show? How to you regain the control?

The answer to this question is YES. I do sometimes feel like my kids are running the show around here. I try to be a “yes mom” when I can, and sometimes the children have to be reminded that I am still the adult. When that happens, I become a “no” mom, and I stay that way until they start respecting my decisions again. I try to qualify my no’s when possible, so that they understand what I am doing: no, you cannot xyz because when I asked you to abc you ignored me.

Here is one of those pieces of advice you can take because I am not using it. When you get tired at night go to bed. Don’t consistently push through to get just a few more things done. You may be able to get by with it now, but one day you will be old like me, and your body will begin to laugh and mock you. It will say snide things like “if you couldn’t go to sleep when *I* wanted to, I am certainly not going to go to sleep when *you* want to.” This will be almost audible. Ask me how I know.

Technorati Tags: sleep, insomnia

Take some time everyday for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a great stretch of time, either. Even 15-30 minutes can make a difference between a grumpy mom and a happy mom. Personally, that’s the first thing to fall by the wayside when things get hectic, and that is a mistake.